Just recently I was laughing and reminiscing with my older kids about times when they were younger. Since my son is now a technology expert, we were discussing how it was that he got turned on to technology and the progression of the internet, cell phones, social media, etc. What an incredible transformation we have experienced over just the last decade!

As I began thinking about those old times, my thoughts turned to how easily we are now able to connect with people all over the world, but how this same privilege can create distance between us and those within close proximity. Some of my friends and co-workers used to tease me about the “Latino internet”. Anytime I needed something, I would just make a phone call to a friend. They then would call their people, who would call their people, and so on. I was always able to find what I was looking for, whether it was someone to fix my car, someone to cater a party, or someone who knew of the best restaurant in town. The best part was that these “services” would often be exchanged as a part of a barter or at a discounted rate because I was referred by a friend. This “network” was not created online, but simply by using the power of relationships and a telephone.

“Networking” is defined as “a supportive system of sharing information and services among individuals and groups having a common interest.” Kind of sounds like just about any relationship, doesn’t it? So many entrepreneurs that I know dread having to go out and network, but they are really missing the point that it is truly about creating powerful and meaningful relationships, not about selling themselves or their businesses. If the thought of networking leaves a sour taste in your mouth, here are some things that may help to reframe the process for you:

• Networking does not exclusively occur at “networking events”

Everywhere you go, you have the opportunity to meet someone new. Forget about your business or your agenda and just meet people! I have two very young children. It is so interesting how I can take them anywhere, and if there is another child there, they instantly make friends and begin playing together. It doesn’t matter if they knew each other before. Become childlike again and talk to people. Try to tap into how you made friends when you were a child. Some people may not be as receptive as others, but that is okay. Just continue on and keep initiating conversations and practicing your relationship building skills.

• If you must attend an event, find a “themed” event that draws your attention

I’m sure you have all seen them – those invitations to “networking events”. Honestly, I try to stay away from those events. Instead, I look for things like workshops, seminars, presentations, and other social events. Find something that is interesting to you and that will take the focus off of networking and, at the same time, will create a topic of conversation between you and others in attendance. If the subject drew your attention, it also drew the attention of others there. It is an instant connection builder and conversation piece!

• Use social media as a stepping stone, not a means to an end

Social media is so wonderful! I am always amazed about being able to connect with people around the world and those from my past who I never thought I would see again. While social networking seems like a natural platform for networking and building relationships, it should really be used as a tool, or a stepping stone, just as meeting someone at an event would be. While you often will not meet people from your social network in person, there are many opportunities where you will. Remember that people do not like to feel “sold to”. Your social network should be used to create relationships, not as a selling tool. Build relationships there and get to know people. The world is a small place and if you are using your social media correctly, you will probably meet many of your connections at conferences or workshops someday.

• Networking is just the beginning

Meeting people or attending networking events is not the end of the process – it requires follow up! So many people I work with are hesitant to follow up after meeting new people. This is equivalent to planting a seed and then not watering it, or going out on a date and then never calling the person again. Don’t forget to follow up! This can be as simple as calling just to say hi, or it could be to invite them to meet for coffee. If you don’t follow up, you will be quickly forgotten and your chances of creating a powerful relationship will be lost. ~ Tanya Mundo