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Loss is something every human has in common. Loss crosses all race, gender, geographic, economic and social barriers. No matter who you are, you have or will experience loss in your lifetime. So if loss is a universal occurrence, why do many of us have such a difficult time with loss? Why do we feel so alone during times of loss?
Whether it is a loss of a job, a loved one, a marriage or relationship, or our health and vitality, deep loss has a profound way of unleashing emotions at a level that we don’t usually encounter and quite frankly which can feel very scary and overwhelming. Some of the typical stages of loss as described by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book, “On Death and Dying” include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Denial could be described as our way of dampening reality and holding back the intense emotions of the situation.
Anger is a protection mechanism for justifying those deep and very intense feelings.
Bargaining becomes our grasping at straws or clinging phase.
Depression is when we realize that the situation is forever altered and changed. We long for the past that no longer exists.
Acceptance is found when we let go of focusing on ourselves and our pain and open up to what we have learned, what we can be grateful for, and how we can use this experience to propel us forward in life. Sadly, many people struggle to get to this point where they can stop dwelling in the past and soaking in their own ego and transcend to something greater in the here and now.
Although I’m not Buddhist, a Buddhist principle I’ve read about and studied and have found useful in my life is the idea of living with non-attachment and non-clinging. Of course this doesn’t mean we go through life alone and with no relationships or that we magically bypass loss. To me, non-clinging simply means that we encounter life with an open palm instead of a clenched fist. Each person, job, experience or whatever that rests on our palm should be cherished and looked at with gratitude in that moment. When that person, job, etc. leaves our palm for whatever reason, we keep our palm open and resist the urge to clench our fist and squeeze the love and gratitude out of the situtation by getting caught up in our own ego. By keeping our palm open we demonstrate the power of the mind and self-control  that enables us to gain wisdom, peace and joy and to move forward in our life.
My hope is that since loss is so universal, that we all can learn to stay gentle, understanding  and compassionate when we see others dealing with loss. Let’s gain an appreciation of what ties us all together as humans and be the positive influence for healing, progression, joy and gratitude. What do we have to lose? Traci Vincent
Adventure is an exciting experience or a risky undertaking. Some people thrive on adventure, where the rest of us typically play it safe and operate from the perspective of what we think we can control.
New ideas are everywhere but we must: 
When I was 22 and just starting out in my military career I was laid-up in the orthopedic ward of a military hospital after having reconstructive surgery on both my legs. I experienced firsthand what it felt like not being able to walk. I was wheelchair bound.  It is normal after major surgery to have no sensation until the nerve activity between brain and legs would connect and I could start walking again. So the road to recovery was at that time insurmountable to me and I was angry and frustrated. I was in the Airforce and just wanted to get home and back to work. Patience was definitely not my strong suit back then as I laid there wallowing in misery and acting like a child.
