Have you ever noticed that sometimes you feel out of sorts, unhappy or even resentful but really have no idea why?

Intrinsically, we are all a lot more than just what meets the eye. There are many aspects of our lives that need our attention in order to feel complete so we can be at the top of our game and feel at peace.  When off balance for a period of time, we start to feel the effects manifesting as resentment, depression, anger, anxiety, etc.

In order to decipher the cause of our imbalances, we need to know ourselves from the inside out. For instance, I have discovered I require an adequate amount of time to myself.  My mind is always going a million miles per minute, and I require time to process and organize my thoughts and feelings in order to feel at peace.  When my physical schedule keeps me running from activity to activity, I start to become anxious or down unless I make sure to carve out some time for me, even if it requires me to decline some invitations, get up earlier or stay up later.  I have realized that this is one way I truly connect to my center and gain clarity.  Whether I am meditating, sitting in a quiet room or soaking in a bubble bath, I cherish and need my alone time to regroup and recharge.

Everyone is unique, but specific areas that may be calling out for attention are time for fun, organization, sleep, creativity, studying, hobbies, self care and beauty, working out, social activities with friends and/or family, accomplishing projects, travel, volunteering, deeply connecting with another, speaking your truth, etc.

The next time you find yourself in a mood or feeling off kilter or uneasy, stop and ask yourself what you are currently requiring that is not being fulfilled. The answer is within and will definitely speak to you if you take the time to listen, trust, and then follow through.  The awakening to this understanding can be very enlightening and even life changing, but you must  follow through.

For those of you who may not know, I am a multiple credentialed nurse practitioner currently practicing high-risk pediatrics for our local hospital.  Life can take a fast dramatic, life altering turn at any moment.  I am constantly reminded of the very fragility of life and the deep gift of each day.  I never know what will happen when I walk through the door or when the phone rings.   Here at the hospital, there is no place happier on the planet when things go well and there are few sadder when they do not.  For the first eighteen years of practice, I did not know how to handle the stress.  I simply carried it in my body. I was SO serious, the perfect example of how not to do it!

I know, all too well, we are all here on this planet for only so many minutes, hours, days, months, and sometimes years.  I like the priest in the movie Rudy have learned two things from working here: 1. There is a God and 2. I am not Him. When you work with children, you learn they play even in the midst of unthinkable pain.  They smile, laugh, and joke.  They can make a toy and game of almost anything.  After years of watching, I have learned to relax and trust.  I am in no way cavalier.  I practice expert, evidence based, medicine and include the parents in my decisions. I have contagious quiet joy with me wherever I go.

If you were to follow me around all day you would find me talking happily to my patients, their siblings, and parents.  I am gentle and cheerful with the staff.  Should you happen into my office you might be surprised to see amidst the text books and photos,  a group of toys, strategically placed up on the bookshelf at eye level so I can see them. There is a can of purple silly putty, an orange bouncy ball, a yellow rubber duck, a slinky, and white bunny finger puppet. There are also a few rocks I have collected while out on walks to clear my brain and a sea shell or two. Front and center you will see half or a board I broke last year with JB, Billy Beck III and my morning coach compadres. If you turn on my ipad you will find all the medical apps and of course games and puzzles.  These are my reminders. You do not quit playing because you get old, you get old because you quit playing.

I know how to play and love it.  Do you?  Do you take yourself or your life too seriously?   Take it from one who did for years and paid a high cost. It just “ain’t” worth it! Look at me, the grandmother of ten!

So how did I do it?

I became more like my patients

I learned to be child-like

I made peace with God and myself

I realized (gasp) I am not perfect (never will be)

I rediscovered I love toys

I love to play

I love to turn the music up really loud and dance and sing

Now it is your turn:

Lighten up!

So buy some toys!

Turn up those cheesy old songs that make you laugh

Get outside even if you need foul weather gear like we do.

Play!!!

This is the only shot we get at this life.

Have some fun.

Find it in the least likely of places!

One last thing should you find a motorcycle jut sitting there with a cute French Air Force Officer near by in Paris, ask him if you could hop on!  Need any hints?  Contact me!

Grace and peace,

Lori

LoriElgin.Com

Without getting too technical and deep into physiology here, pain is generally a protective signal sent from a nerve to the brain warning it that there is a situation of injury, inflammation or damage occurring in a particular muscle or tissue. Typically, the brain responds by telling the muscles to contract to pull away and protect or to shut off to avoid further damage or injury.

Interestingly enough, could emotional pain be viewed in a similar way? Don’t we often contract and pull away or just shut down when we suffer from emotional pain? Something else I have observed over the past 25 years working with people in pain is the connection between physical pain and emotional pain and the immense power of the mind. Have you ever been upset with your spouse or co-worker and ended up with a stiff neck, headache or upset stomach? Would you say that is emotional pain showing itself as physical pain? Have you ever been worried over finances or bills and somehow woke up with back pain? Did you wonder what the reason was for the back pain or did you think you simply slept “wrong”? In our society, physical pain is the only pain that is acceptable to discuss openly, and emotional pain is somehow viewed as a weakness and something to be hidden and covered up.  Our bodies are nothing short of wonderful masterpieces and powerfully controlled by our mind. When we become more aware of what the mind is doing, we start to see why things sometimes manifest themselves in our bodies as pain.

Here are some basic tips to think about when you have pain:

1. Breathe. Take slow deep belly breaths.  Allow your belly to rise as you inhale.  This increases the amount of oxygen flowing into your tissues, adjusts your nervous system and calms your mind.

2.Observe. Take a look a the situation. Are you stressed or upset about something? Are you doing something you don’t want to do? Are you operating from a position of fear or avoidance? Are you doing something your body is not currently flexible or strong enough to endure?

3.Get the Facts. Obtain knowledge about your body, how it works and your condition. Ask questions! I can’t tell you how many people I treat who are reluctant to ask questions about their bodies.  If you understand, for example, how the shoulder joint works, you probably are going to have a better understanding of what to do and what not to do to avoid further injury or damage. Changing behaviors and movement patterns can completely change the mechanics of the situation and significantly impact your pain level.

4.Journal. Write down what type of pain you are feeling.  Is it burning, throbbing, stabbing, aching,etc? What type of activity have you been doing? Write down any stressors you have had at work, at school or at home. When you write things down you can begin to see patterns and this will be very useful in helping you and/or your healthcare practitioner to better understand what’s going on in your body.  It makes my job more challenging and difficult to be effective when I first treat a patient and for example they tell me nothing happened to cause their back pain and then 2 weeks later they  nonchalantly mention that they fell 4 months ago and fractured several ribs or that they got fired from their job and are suing their employer.

5.Take Action. Whether it’s adjusting your computer station, learning proper body mechanics, reviewing a new technique in your sport, opening up and communicating your feelings, speaking to a healthcare professional, your teacher, a coach, or your supervisor about your situation, take action to make a change.  Nothing will change until you do.

When you start to observe how your body speaks your mind, you begin to unlock the power of healing. Your mind put you where you are today and it will put you where are a going to be tomorrow. So next time you hear someone say, “No pain, no gain,” think about what you are willing to gain by looking at pain in a different way.

Traci Vincent

I consider being a positive role model one of the most potent forms of helping others.  I  like to call it “being a beacon”. I think Marianne Williamson said it best in her letter titled Our Deepest Fear; “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same, as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Even though I believe that the original thought of helping others can provide needed assistance, I believe that becoming a beacon for others to follow is not only helpful for others but for ourselves as well.

It’s amazing to see the capacity of humanity at work.  One of the best examples of human “beaconism” is that of Roger Bannister. Roger Bannister was the first man to ever break the 4-minute mile in track and field. At that time the common belief was that it was humanely impossible to achieve that feat.  On May 6, 1954, Roger achieved the impossible; he ran the mile in under 4 minutes. This had never been done before in the history of track and field. However, once Roger broke the record, the ‘four-minute barrier’ has continued to be broken by many track and field athletes and is now the standard of all professional middle-distance runners. It’s amazing what happens when one person chooses to break limitations; it creates a new reality and a beacon for others to follow.  I believe we are all capable of this in some way, shape or form.

I would like to help as many people as possible, but unfortunately, resources are limited.  In addition, you can only help a person so many times before they become dependent on your help.  Instead of taking an external approach to this scenario, what if we approached it in an unconventional way?  Instead of giving fish to the needy, why not teach them how to fish by serving as an example?

I challenge you today to allow your true light to shine and become that beacon that so many people desperately need. It’s a small act that, if done collectively, can truly make a difference in the world.

As an adult woman, I cherish the friendships and bonds I have with other women. Some of these span from when I was in grade school, high school and college, yet others range from my young-mom years to people I have met just in last year.  Each relationship serves a different need or purpose and all play a integral role into the woman I am today.  Some friends bring out the silly in me and make me laugh.  Others are my mentors who touch my spiritual side, help me grow and are my confidants to my soul.  Still others are there to keep me company and walk down life’s path hand in hand experiencing each other’s lives, maybe with a little shopping and dining in the mix. ?

There is something very special about relationships between women. It takes a woman to truly understand another, no matter how close we are to our male counterpart, be it a father, brother, son, spouse or friend.  It takes a woman to truly understand and be able to “feel” our feelings, from disappointments and hurts to fulfillment and celebrations, from our fears of lack and inability to self confidence and celebration of stepping into the shining stars we truly are, and from sheer frustration and exhaustion from being a mom, wife and woman to hope, strength and pride in being a mom, wife and woman.

I believe we are on this earth to help each other with the life lessons that present themselves. Why struggle alone or for longer than needed when there is always someone who has been in our situation, or current life lesson, and has graduated with a passing grade?  Through the course of our lives, we take on the roles of students as well as teachers.  We never know where our next opportunity to connect with another amazing individual will lie, but in order to experience these beautiful connections, we need to be open to receive them.

To increase your ability to receive, forgive, let go and be thankful. Forgive yourself and others for what has happened in the past.  You cannot change the past; you can only change this moment on.  Let go of expectations and be willing to ride the wave and go with the flow; you never know what beautiful place it will take you, even if you weren’t planning that particular trip.  Most importantly, shift your perspective, and be thankful every moment for everything that IS going right and for all the wonderment and beauty your life and this world has to offer.

So, go ahead and reach out for the hands of the women in your life as well as of those you have yet to meet. We’re just a phone call, email or tap on the shoulder away.

Let Go.  I have asked myself this question and had to let go of some of my friends.  It was difficult but in the end, being surrounded with like-minded positive people who support  and love me and share the same positive outlook in life far out way being associated with sad and miserable people who don’t see the good in anything.  I knew that I was sad and miserable in my life and had attracted these negative people who kept me in the “victim” mindset. Randy Gage writes: “You can’t be a victim and move forward in life.”  I let the negative friends go and finally let go of victimhood and moved on. 

Change your environment.   I joined Morning Coach because it is a community of like-minded positive people who enjoy their lives and want better.  We all celebrate triumphs and support each other when there are challenges all in a positive way.  I don’t have to prove my value and I know that I can contribute with love and kindness the way it has been reflected back to me.  Join networking groups such as mastermind, attend conferences or go to meetings to connect with new exciting people.  

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself when you sit back and take a look at the people you have in your life.  How do they add to your life or are they taking away from your life?  We are all here to help each other serve the greater good.  I am now moving forward in my life progressing and shining my light surrounded with loving, kind, positive people doing the same.  Take responsibility for your life now and move in a positive direction with the right people. Don Miguel Ruiz so eloquently writes: “We have to be what we are, so we don’t have to present a false image. If you love me the way I am, “Okay, take me.” If you don’t love the way I am. “Okay, bye-bye.” Find someone else.”

1. Introspection-Deep contemplation of the gifts and talents that are woven into your being is necessary in determining your innate purpose.  It is important to remember that each of us is unique and each of us bring our one of kind paintbrush to the mural called life.

2. Alignment with Values-When we connect our deepest core values with our talents, something magical happens. What are your top 5 core values? Are you aligning these with your gifts and talents?  If not, why not?

3. Living Boldly-Many people know their gifts and talents and many people also know what values are powerful and meaningful to them. However, there is something that keeps them from connecting the two together. That something is fear. False evidence appearing real. Whether it is fear of failure or fear of success or something in between, it is still blocking your true purpose. It takes boldness and clear intention to step out and truly embrace your life purpose in a dynamic and fulfilling way.

If we get one thing right this year, let’s get consistent in our purpose.  Let’s start living boldly in alignment with our values and talents and truly impacting the world for the better.  I’m ready to stop being “stupid,” how about you?

Traci Vincent

So what are some ways to help us be tough and get going?

1. Connect with God. If God could create the universe, he is certainly capable of sharing his strength and creating peace and stillness in your soul about any situation you are facing. It only requires you to be open to it and allow it. See God as bigger than your problem, not your problem as bigger than God.

2. Look at your options and possibilities. Sometimes we get stuck looking at our situation from just one point of view and feel overwhelmed. It is important to think outside the box and see the situation from  different perspectives to gain a better understanding of the possibilities or choices available as a solution. Consult mentors or coaches to help you dig deep and discover new options and possibilities as needed.

3. Research those options. What are the costs mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially of the different choices? Take the time to understand what is involved and create a plan. Note of caution here: Set a limit on your research time because this can become another place where people get stuck and overwhelmed.  Researching endlessly and never making a decision or plan does not solve the problem or create forward movement in life.

4. Formulate a plan of action. Once you choose your option, make a plan of action. Fill in the blank for Who? What? When? How? And very importantly, Why? Just like anyone setting out on a journey, have your map or your plan written out so you can see it and refer back to it on a consistent basis.

5.Execute the plan. As Nike says, “Just Do It”. Step by step, day by day, follow your plan.  Do not let any first exceptions creep in, and if they happen to, go right back to your plan. Work your plan, keep learning and enhancing your plan along the way as needed.  Stay strong. Consistency always wins.

Something else I have learned along the way is to take “I can’t” out of your vocabulary.  Those two words put together are a self-fulfilling prophesy. Negativity grows and expands with the use of that phrase. Focus instead on what you can do. Empower yourself with thoughts and beliefs of what is possible. Remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going in a positive direction!

Traci Vincent

There is a definite correlation between being organized with what we have, tangible and otherwise, and being open to receive new opportunities and prosperity. When we are organized in all facets of our lives, it equates to shouting from the top of a mountain, “I am ready, bring it on!” In addition, taking an inventory of our personal belongings usually leads to finding items we have not used, no longer like, don’t fit or just aren’t appropriate for where we are in our life, opening up the opportunity to donate.  Gifting these items benefits those in need who cannot afford it and leaves a space, or a vacuum, in our personal space that allows room for us to receive the new things we need and desire.

So why is it that there always seems to be at least one lingering project needing our attention? We procrastinate.  Since I am guilty of this, I totally understand why we tend to procrastinate, especially on the more mundane things.  First of all, many of these tasks are large, making them appear overwhelming, and secondly, they are often things we don’t like to do in the first place.  The problem with procrastination is that the more we do it, the more we’ll do it.  The longer the task(s) go uncompleted, the more insurmountable they appear in our mind’s eye and the larger they grow in physical space, creating a snowball effect similar to that of an avalanche.  In addition, there are only so many hours in a day, and these hours need to be split up between work, family, self, health, fun, sleep etc.   If you are anything like me, I cherish time with family, my “me” time, fun, and definitely sleep, so I tend to put these ahead of things that I don’t enjoy as much.

Since freedom and free time are two of my top values, working in very small increments of time, i.e. 15-minute-blocks, is a great way to face the procrastination monster. This tricks me into working on the project on a regular basis because I know 15 minutes is not a big chunk out of my day.  It astounds me how much better I feel after this short 15 minutes, because I have a sense of accomplishment that I did not have before.  Even though 15 minutes is unarguably not a very large amount of time, it is amazing what you can get done when you are focused and in the frame of mind of accomplishing versus procrastinating.   The other benefits are consistency and pride.  When we see that we are making progress on a daily basis, it feels good, thus giving us more energy and drive to continue the process.

What are you going to do for 15 minutes today?

Feeling Is A Choice

Sunday morning Sandy Jean sits in front of her computer with a cat in her lap.  She remembers in the book Power vs. Force that a Cat’s purr calibrates at a high feel good number.  There is a debate about what feelings calibrate higher in the scientific world but to her in this moment with the cat in her lap she feels happy.  Sandy Jean is interested in the feeling scales because she has been learning and experiencing that we really are suppose to feel good and that through becoming a deliberate creator we can reach good feeling states.

The other day while at her local grocery store she was strolling down the meat counter when she observed the butcher coming toward her.  She observed  his nostrils were were flared and he was breathing  like a bull right before they let him out of the pen with a unwanted rider on their backs at a rodeo that she didn’t want to be in his way.  She quickly swerved her cart as he sped past her and utters some words to a customer trying to cover his agitation with a customer service smile.  The customer uttered words of equal intensity back at him and they went back and forth for a few min and then both turned and left.  The customer was still ranting as she pushed her cart toward the front of the store. As Sandy Jean began rolling her cart down the same isle she thought of the feeling scale and Law of Attraction.  This was a perfect match of feeling states between the butcher and the customer.  Neither had wanted any other state of mind at that moment and the emotional energy was too charge to be shifted.  It was a perfect example of Law of Attraction.  Sandy Jean was smiling now, as she was grateful to have observed the law in a scenario that she was not emotionally in the middle.

Law of Attraction is operating all the time.  It is auniversal law like gravity.  To become a deliberate creator you must practice where you are putting focus, energy, and feeling.  We continually define our own reality word-by-word, thought-by-thought, and feeling-by-feeling.

Four Tips for Deliberate Attraction Creation:

1. It is interesting to look at feeling charts and you can check out several at this site or just Google feeling scale
2. To deliberately create your own reality study “The Law of Attraction.
3. Daily write down proof of what you are attracting in your journal.
4. Law of Attraction is like learning a foreign language like Spanish, or French.

1. Summary

Life really is suppose to be fun all of it the highs and lows.  True integration comes with all the emotions on the feeling scales.  No one can do this for us.  Our own daily experience will provide us with enough learning and entertainment once you become a deliberate observer and creator.